Date: Mon Apr 2, 2001 7:04pm It's been since fall 1999, and I'm still recovering. At six weeks I was a mess--still in full blown pain, and had another six months to go before that wore off. I still have a lot of physical pain, especially neck, shoulders, left arm and sometimes chest pain. I thought it was from the four point restraint they used on me, something anyone who goes in to a mental hospital for help should expect-physical abuse! I support the post-traumatic stress theory-that's definitely my case. Just stay out of the doctor's office, and be careful with over the counter pain reliever like aspirin, it seemed to aggravate the physical symptoms. Pamper yourself, remain calm, and rely on other survivors. Just stay away from those doctors! I was on a low dose of Wellbutrin for several days. This drug made me crave cocaine almost uncontrollably. Along with a craving for cocaine, I couldn't stop crying and exercising at the same time. I was literally working out and crying until I was exhausted. What is that stuff? I can't imagine being on it for any length of time, and yet people are getting it for smoking? Had I continued on it, I'd have surely been hopitalized or committed a crime. I was belligerent and crying constantly and could not stop physically moving. I exercised around the apartment non-stop, as sitting still was impossible. This drug jacked me up beyond belief. Not a reducer of anxiety. After three days, I threw it in the garbage. I've never felt like that before. Heather Date: Wed Apr 4, 2001 2:55am Response1: You are still in the very early stages of withdrawal. This about the relapsing depression is what the doctors tell us so that we will end up going back on the drugs as most doctors won't admit that there is a withdrawal syndrome associated with these drugs. One of the symptoms associated with withdrawals for both tranquillisers and antidepressants is the return or worsening of the symptoms. Charles Medawar who carries out the audits into the safety of medicines here in the UK actually recognises that there is a withdrawal syndrome associated with all these drugs. He has a web site which you may find useful as it contains information on this. It is:- http://www.socialaudit.org.uk Hope this helps and hang in there. It will get better and it will also take time to heal. Ramo Date: Thu Apr 5, 2001 10:42pm Response2: a/k/a Zyban. It elevates dopamine levels to quell cravings. Seriously, you craved cocaine while you were on it??? I've heard nothing but horror stories about this drug. People get really aggressive on it and have strange thought patterns. A former girlfirned was on it and after a perceived problem on HER part, she tried to burn my house down by throwing a lighted cigarette into my dry grass. Another friend's son was on it for 8 days before he tried to hang himself. Just thinking about how this drug must make you feel gives me the freaking creeps. Trisha Date: Fri Apr 6, 2001 3:40am Response3: Hi Heather, Bob started with wellbutrin to stop smoking (same as zyban) by the way I refuse to capitolize these drugs' names, they are nothing but the lowest things on my list of hate-things in the whole world and I refuse to give them the honor of a capitol letter......anyway, after a bad reaction, Bob was then put on paxil, then trazodone, then serzone, and now effexor, and during the whole time since paxil has been on ativan 8 months, until two weeks ago when they switched him to klonopin which has now ben stopped in just 10 days..... This is bad stuff to mess with, I wonder how many inocent people take it because they see an easy fix while watching TV, I hate the adds. Good luck to you and be strong....hugs, Joey Date: Fri Apr 6, 2001 2:53am I don't even know Bob, and I'm new to the list, yet I've been thinking about him all day. Hooray for his release! Joey, you're an angel, if only all those incarcerated could have such an able advocate. The diarrhea will last for a while, from my experience. My own treatment was a large daily dose of Citrucel, an orange flavored fiber mix, in a large glass of water first thing in the morning. I'd had diarrhea for two months, and was miserable, like my intestines didn't want to work anymore. After one week, and basically a full container of Citrucel, I was better by leaps and bounds. It not only stopped the diarrhea, which is painful and not a good way to start the day, but by easing that it actually made me feel less shaky, less the detoxing weakling, like I could trust my body again! My mom made sure I ate cereal--Cheerios and shredded wheat. I was not able to digest meat or fried foods for several months. I can't emphasize enough what these drugs do to every system in the body, not just the brain. There are serotonin receptors all along the digestive tract, and they all seemed to respond to SSRIs . Tell Bob we're out here in the ether, all over the country, pulling for him. Heather Since fall 1999. I had a myomectomy (an operation on my uterus) this past Jan.31, and it was pretty stressful. I developed cysts from Depakote I took in 1999. I had tried it once before (in 97) and was in constant pain, the treatment being birth control pills, which have their own side effects. I was put back on it when everything else made me psychotic. It did nothing but give me more cysts. They removed a large one. I've found some studies on this, and am constantly looking for information on the relationship between Depakote and PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). It took from fall 99 to this year to get it treated! Lots of pain and stress in the meantime. You can imagine how angry I am... But the neck and arm pain is pretty constant. Its been very stressful, and I may sound like an invalid, but being forced to fight for my own mind has made me stronger than ever before. I have an excellent job. I have my daily sanity back. I love my life! The whole experience stripped away my illusions about power and control, about the soul, about who I am, and most importantly the difference between good and evil. (I just wish I could get some financial compensation!) By the way, I've never had mental health problems in my life, just garden variety addiction/generation x stuff. Divorced family. Not so different from most folks. Was told I had 'mixed' manic depression when I went in for insomnia (I lived in new York w/ constant noise). I got paxil and klonopin. I lost about two years, flipped out, and basically lost everything. But I've recovered mentally (not financially or emotionally), and I'm stronger for the suffering, but I'm still really, really pissed off. And I thought I was the only one... Heather Date: Fri Apr 6, 2001 5:50pm Rhonda, it took about a year and a half for the Paxil to really make me lose it. You may have 'tolerated' Celexa well (in shrink-speak), but for how long? Where does it say that if a side effect doesn't occur immediately, then it never will? Tunnelvision, extreme fatigue, you don't seem to be tolerating it! From my personal experience I also underwent a physical change, I believe because of thyroid interference from these drugs. While I spent most of the time on Paxil slightly overweight, when I started to become mentally undone, my body became more muscular with less fleshy female fat. I also started to develop ovarian cysts, hairs on my chin, menopausal-like symptoms, so it appears that the entire thyroid/hormone system is interfered with by these damn drugs. You may not be there yet, but why wait to see if you get the same reaction? I too was extremely fatigued (what am I saying, I couldn't get out of bed at all!) So it wasn't from working out that I lost this weight! It was only much later that I was able to make sense of the little things. You're doing the right thing, hang in there, take care of yourself, and I promise you'll get better. Why not dump the shrink and find a marriage counselor or psychologist? That way you'll still be under the care of someone, just not a perscription writer. That's all they have to offer, and I assure you its all you'll get. You're already half way there in detecting the problem and taking action to get off the Celexa. Let us know how you're doing. Heather Date: Fri Apr 6, 2001 8:26pm I too emailed the Denver Post. Let's see what they come up with, but let's not let up the pressure for them to do some actual reporting. They offered a link, claiming 19 million americans are depressed. That's not reporting! I say we bust a news outlet or professional organization every time they try to pass off this crap as the 'truth', or when they fail to see the relationship between SSRI's and violence altogether because they trust the psychiatric community. (Remember those days, before you knew better?) By the way, Joey, you're a good writer and you've really verbalized a lot of my own feelings so well on this issue. I feel like we can pool our talents to strengthen the survivor's movement, and even if we're spread out all over the world, we can help with things like the Dendrite action alerts. To subscribe to the Dendrite alerts: Heather Date: Sat Apr 21, 2001 3:59 pm Sounds suspiciously like you're tripping to me--light trails and all that. Why don't they just admit these drugs are like taking LSD? Clearly, if you listed the side effects of LSD in the format the precautions use, you probably counldn't tell the difference between it and any of these SSRI's. I'm very angry about the electrical zaps. i must have had 25-30 a day when I was on paxil; the doc then gave me klonipin, which helped--why? because I was passed out like a comatose zombie on klonipin--when you're not even awake it's hard to complain. Klonopin is a perfect drug for shutting you up! Visual disturbances--they mean hallucinations! Heather Date: Thu Jun 21, 2001 2:04 pm Hey, I became psycho and had to quit cold turkey, although the idiot doctors had no idea what was happening to me, and certainly seemed to have no idea that cold turkey would be agonizing and would last for months. Obviously I am no longer that way, or I'd be locked up for certain--I know its possible to commit crimes in that state of mind. In fact, although I was sick with a flu-like withdrawl for months, the psychosis went away as soon as I quit taking that crap. my symptoms are mostly physical, but I am very angry and traumatized by what happened to me, as I have never been that way before and have never been since. It is hard to talk about, but that's why this group is so positive, because I have nothing to be ashamed of but it is still uncomfortable to admit because you worry that people might be afraid of you or are waiting for you to freak out again. The doctors basically took one look at me and diagnosed me as manic/depressive which I AM NOT and put me on lithium and remeron, which induced severe physical illness and serotonin syndrome--flapping hands, opening and closing my mouth uncontrollably, confusion, I kept stumbling and falling down and hurting myself because i was...dying. Those doctors nearly killed me with their negligence and lack of eduaction. I hold them entirely responsible for making my situation about 100 times worse by forcing MORE drugs on me. This is why I joined Support Coalition International, and why I warn everyone of what may happen if they continue to turn to the medical profession for help. The strange thoughts are gone but I am so angry at times it makes me physically ill--headaches, neckaches, racing heart, electricity in my arms and hands, and post-traumatic stress from all the nightmare memories of the hospital. All I can reccomend is to avoid emotional stress, arguing with people, you need a normal stress level as from work, but keep the personal emotions to a non-hysterical level to avoid feeling out of control.. The arguments with my-ex (another total idiot) aggravated every last symptom! Heather